A burger account called @burgerdudes ranked the Double Goldieboy Cheeseburger 14th best in the world. I went to Brighton East to find out if that holds up. It does.
Goldieboy doesn’t have a shopfront so much as a gap in the wall at the rear of 305 Bay St, a tucked away space with a courtyard out the back. Friday afternoon, sun out but weak, the kind of cold that makes you order the burger to comfort you. Small setup — a few tables, no fuss — but it doesn’t feel cramped. You get your own patch of concrete and that’s enough.
The Double Goldieboy Cheeseburger is two 100g chuck-and-brisket smash patties, two slices of American cheese, bread-and-butter pickles, chipotle mayo, mustard, tomato sauce, grilled onions, on a potato bun. Nothing on that list is trying to surprise you, and that’s the point. The patties get proper crisp edges from the smash and stay juicy underneath — the difference between a burger that tastes like effort and one that tastes like a griddle running too cool. The potato bun holds its structure through the whole thing and adds its own sweetness instead of just soaking up grease. This is the order. Get it.
The Spiceboy is the same double patty base, swapped to a house-smoked green capsicum and jalapeño sauce, honey mustard, grilled jalapeño, grilled onions. I like spice and didn’t find it especially hot — more a warm, lingering heat that sits at the back of the mouth rather than punching you on arrival. It’s a good burger. It is not a better burger than the cheeseburger, and I’d take the cheeseburger every time someone asks me to choose.
The Hot Honey Chipotle Chicken Sando — brined, southern-fried breast, American cheese, cabbage and carrot slaw in a chipotle mayo, on the same potato bun — was solid without threatening the top spot. If you’re choosing between meat and chicken here, choose the double its number 14 for a reason.
As for the fries, for $10 you get a pile of 10mm-cut, properly crunchy on the outside that are soft in the middle. I’m a shoestring person by instinct, and these still won me over enough that I’d order them again without hesitating. That’s the test for a side, not whether it matches your personal preference on cut.
None of this needed a courtyard, or a 14th-place ranking, or an overcast Friday to be true. But the setting explains why people are willing to eat standing-room burgers in the cold: it’s a spot that knows exactly what it’s meant to be and doesn’t stretch itself trying to be something else. In summer, with a beer, that same courtyard is going to be doing a lot of work for a lot of people.
Rear of 305 Bay St, Brighton East. Order the Double Goldieboy Cheeseburger, get the fries, don’t overthink it.